4. Yes

Chapter 4. Congruence is the aim of your life

This chapter is all about how you can say ‘Yes’ to yourself – and how important that is.  This addresses the issue of ‘denial’, in particular, and the conflict that arises around denial and willpower.

Denial Never Works

“Going on a diet never, ever works or lasts.  Plus, you may not need to be on a diet – what you probably need is more vitality.” – Anthony Robbins

If we have an approach based on not denying ourselves anything, we need to make sure that we ease ourselves gently – and sensibly – into that approach, rather than going silly at the outset.  The point is that the truth and the success of the thing is in the authentic balance, so we seek to integrate such a way of life and approach sensibly, and in a controlled manner which also prioritises our health.

“The power of The Wisdom Diet is to turn all established, yet ineffective thinking on its head. And none is bigger than to replace the disastrous concept of denial with an informed approach to allowing ourselves things if we genuinely feel we want them, and it is right to do so, and in our best interests …and only then.” – James Blacker, taken from The Wisdom Diet

Denial actually increases desire, or rather it creates a false desire, a false perception of our level of desire for a certain thing, because we are effectively creating a false level of ’supply’ when we deny ourselves things.  This is also explored further in chapter 4.

“This is because of the law of supply and demand, which states that under normal circumstances, when the supply of something goes down, demand for that thing goes up.” – James Blacker, taken from The Wisdom Diet

Overreating is Not the Aim

If you are reading this as an open suggestion to simply overeat, or even do so glutonously, that is not the case.

Indeed, the only gains to be made are made in those moments when we realise that we don’t actually want what we thought we did.  …or conversely, when we allow ourselves to eat when we are genuinely hungry when we previously might not.

What we are doing here is finding the truth of what will really fulfill us.  The aim is bringing the aim of the willpower and our awareness of our real and genuine desires together, so that they are the same thing.  This is simply the state of being at one with oneself, and is defined as ‘Congruence’.  We are in a ‘congruent’ (at one) state when we do this – rather than being at odds with ourselves.

So this is about saying ‘Yes’ to what is real and true and vital and important.  It’s about being genuine, authentic and sincere with ourselves.

“We have talked of the importance of being congruent – of you being at one with yourself and of all parts working together. So, by definition, willpower is something that you don’t want to have be anything more than a temporary friend, if that.” – James Blacker, taken from The Wisdom Diet

Note, though, that this is a tricky and delicate thing to achieve – it’s going to take some time and practice and dedication to develop such a skill of being true to yourself in this way and to this extent.  If the idea of a non-denial lifestyle is getting you too excited, it may be best for you to implement the new freedom gradually, in stages, or even not at all if it might otherwise be dangerous for you.  Either way, consult your doctor before undertaking any dietary changes.

Next Chapter Concept…


"Remember, I said dieting had nothing to do with food? That's true. If you get your head AND heart right, everything else will follow." - James Blacker, taken from The Wisdom Diet

Read About Chapter 1. Defeat into Power, Pain into Pleasure